Brand New Day
by UltraViolet41
Summary: For all those JA shippers out there, this is my version of the aftermath of Devil made me do it. This is what I think would happen if Joan told The Truth. [COMPLETED]
1. The aftermath

_So I wrote this after "Devil made me do it", cuz I was on a roll (a really long one). Then I went to the beach last weekend and was busy most of the week, and couldn't type it in the puter so I could post it and forget about it before I saw the next episode. Well, I saw St. Joan, and it proved part of my plot wasn't as farfetched as I though. So I guess that's a good thing. Now I'm ready to post this and get rid of it forevah. _

_Oy, this is my first fic in this domain. Yay! I like to bounce around; I'm not tied to one domain. More fun for me._

_Disclaimer: don't own Joan of __Arcadia__. I own this plot line, though, came from my head in a moment of inspiration. But in the end, everything belongs to God (isn't that a bit ironic?)._

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Brand new day – by In the darkNess

_Never thought I'd say I'm sorry_

_Never thought I'd be the one to bring you down_

_Now when I look out my window_

_But there doesn't seem to be anyone around_

_And I, I think I'll change my way_

_So all your words get noticed_

_Tomorrow's a brand new day_

_Tomorrow's a new day._

_-- Brand New Day, Forty Foot Echo._--__

Chapter one: the aftermath

It had only been a week since the smashing of the Ascension incident, but for Joan, it might as well be the longest week she had ever lived through, and still she thought she barely made it through the week without losing her sanity. School was torture for a whole new reason, and that reason was, of course, Adam.

Even in she hadn't been grounded after all, she wished she was. Grounded for the rest of her high school years. It would justify why she spent the following days in a lethargic state, coming straight home from school. She became taciturn, hiding in her room, lying in bed all day, with the drapes closed over the windows and the radio tuned into a blues station. She only came out to go to the bathroom and down to the kitchen to fetch some water and food, thus missing several decent meals, as she was too depressed to eat or at least sit at the table, with everyone pretending not to look at her and making small talk, of which she took no part.

Will and Helen were starting to get very worried, going past the stage where they considered it best to let Joan cope with her issue alone for a while, hoping it would pass, and onto the one where they though it would be better if they talked to her once and for all (Helen suggested family therapy, but Will voted it out, saying it was a little rash). However, they couldn't find the proper moment to do it. When Joan wasn't gliding in a zombie-like state through the rooms, she was somewhere within the confinements of her own quarters. In the afternoon, while Will was still at work, Helen would stand outside the locked door, debating with herself over whether she should knock or not. Because sometimes, while she stood there, she would listen for a moment, and she would hear Joan sobbing quietly over the sound of the blues from the radio.

Neither Luke nor Kevin had been able to exchange words with their sister, either. Partly because they thought Joan barely showed any signs of consciousness about her surroundings. But Luke didn't think he was the most appropriate person to talk to Joan about the issue. As for Kevin, he usually would be the older brother to come in and cheer his little sister up. But he didn't even fully understand what was going on in Joan's life, or what she was feeling. He didn't think he'd ever seen her so sad, and it was starting to affect him.

++++++++++++

"You should talk to him."

"Sorry? Talk to who?" Luke turned to find Kevin reaching for the cereal box. No one else was in the kitchen, but still they spoke in hushed voices all the time. They were cautious about talking about Joan in the house when she could shuffle quietly into the room without them noticing.

Kevin wheeled himself to the breakfast table and poured himself a bowl. "You know, that guy Joan's sulking around for. What's his name again?"

"Adam."

"Yeah. Maybe if you talk to him, he'll come around and talk to her," Kevin suggested. "Maybe he'll forgive her for what she did. Isn't that why she's so depressed?"

"I guess," Luke replied hesitantly, munching his cereal. He wasn't very good with feelings. How was he supposed to talk feelings with a guy, especially a guy like Adam? "And what do I tell him?"

"I don't know… tell him how bad Joan's doing, maybe that'll bring him around."

"It's not that easy, Kev."

"How do you know?"

Luke was about to answer, but Joan dragged herself into the kitchen at that moment, and he snapped his mouth shut. Kevin gave him a sideways glance.

"Good morning, Joan," he said.

"Morning, sis," Luke said automatically.

Joan slumped down on a chair and said nothing. Her eyes were fixed on the table. She didn't look very good; her hair was tousled and she had dark circles under her eyes. Luke and Kevin exchanged another look.

"Want some cereal, Joan? I'll get it for you," Kevin offered. Joan attempted a nod, but it wasn't a very clear one. Kevin frowned in concern and went to get a bowl anyway. He brought it back and gingerly poured cereal and milk into it. Joan only stared.

"Gotta have breakfast, Joan," Kevin continued. "Most important meal of the day."

His sister didn't move, it was almost as if she couldn't hear him. Kevin put on a puppy dog face and looked at Joan. "Please, Joan. Eat something. Do it for me."

For a moment, Joan was still spaced out. But she returned Kevin's gaze, then took the spoon and began to eat slowly. Kevin smiled and patted her arm. "Thank you."

Luke came to sit across from Joan, munching his own cereal quietly while staring back and forth between his siblings. They sat in silence for a moment, until…

"Where are mom and dad?" Joan spoke softly. Her voice was groggy.

Kevin and Luke tried not to look too surprised at the fact Joan had spoken for the first time in days. The last thing Luke remembered hearing her say was a sheepish "hi" to Adam the day after the incident; Adam had ignored her completely, so Joan hadn't even tried talking to him again, or talked to anyone at all, for that matter.

Luke promptly snapped out of it. "Uh, dad got an early call from the office, and mom had something to do before going to school."

Joan nodded in acknowledgement. "I don't feel like going to school today," she mumbled.

"Come on, Joan, maybe things will get better today. You wouldn't want to miss that out, would you?" Kevin said, and he glanced at Luke, perhaps waiting for him to say something too.

"Maybe something good will happen today," Luke added quickly.

"Yeah, maybe I'll get hit by a bus," Joan said sourly. She dropped the spoon into the bowl and got up. "Well, what's the point of putting it off any longer?" Luke wasn't sure if she meant school or death by a bus. He watched her put the bowl in the sink, and met Kevin's gaze. They both wore sympathetic expressions.

"Do it today," Kevin mouthed. Luke sighed. Somehow he doubted Adam Rove would care about what he had to say about something he hardly knew about.

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_Steadily and patiently, works for me. I'm gonna carry on steadily and patiently. Otherwise, this story will fall into oblivion. I really love it when I manage to post a story whole. I'm not usually one to finish stories. Half a gazillion unfinished stories are a proof of that._

_I wanna see "The girl next door"!!! Looks hilarious and the guy who plays Adam is in it. Yay! Can't wait…_

_More chapters to come. In the meantime, read and review. Make me happy. Thank you._

[ In the darkNess ]


	2. Famous last words

_I am a true Joan/Adam shipper at heart, as my friend Joey put it so plainly after a brief discussion on the episode this is based on, so you know what to expect from this story. Guest stars are cute boy/ God, my six-year-old niece's six-year-old "secret" admirer/ God, my ever-philosophical "father in-law"/ God (he would be an excellent God, I tell you), and a special appearance by my good friend Joey as (you guessed) God (I'm inserting her in the fic for being such a kick-ass JoA fan-mate)._

_This is what I would hope would happen, but if it were to happen, it would be so lame, because none of the other stuff that happens later would happen, and I don't want that to happen, so thank God this is just fanfiction… not sure if what I just said made any sense, but I don't care if I make sense or not. _

_Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over anyone or anything. I do this for self-entertainment (yes, all this is apparently very amusing to me)._

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Brand New Day – by In the darkNess

You said you heard every word

But I watched you turn away

Your eyes grew colder than winter.

"Love is so intrusive"

I thought I heard you say

And laugh so unconvincingly…

-- Jars of Clay, _Famous Last Words_ --

Chapter two: Famous last words

Joan and Luke always walked to school together. Luke would be discussing some boring scientific matter, and Joan would be making some remark about how she really didn't care. However, the past week, they had walked in silence. Apparently Luke _could_ take a hint and realized that Joan wasn't in the mood for any sort of conversation. She had enough in her mind already, besides dreading getting to school. If there was one thing she dreaded more than Adam not being with her to walk around the hallways as usual, was Adam crossing her in those same hallways and looking through her, as if she weren't there at all. They sat in AP Chemistry with Grace Polk between them, and he never said anything to anyone when Joan was present.

Arcadia High came into view as they turned a corner and walked down the road. It was then that Joan noticed something odd. God hadn't appeared to her in all this time. It had been quite a while since she last talked to Him. He never disappeared for such a long time. Perchance, he didn't have a reason to show up yet. No new mission to give to Joan.

_Good, she thought. __I don't want to talk to Him anyway. He's the one who ruined my life. Joan frowned miserably as they approached the school building. It wasn't God's fault that Joan was in the mess she was in, but it was much easier than admitting her own guilt. The longer she went without meeting God again, the better._

"Hey, Joan," said a voice from behind her. "What's with the frown?"

Joan and Luke both turned to find a girl about 19 years old, with long brown hair and blue eyes, wearing a blue jacket with faux-fur lining around the hood. She smiled in a friendly manner, and Joan was puzzled.

"Sorry, do I—" Joan started.

"Can I talk to you for a second? It's sort of important," the girl interrupted.

For a moment, Joan was completely flummoxed. But then it dawned on her. And she glared in anger.

"No, sorry, gotta get to class," she said grumpily. "Come on, Luke," she turned and kept walking, Luke following without a word. But the girl followed too.

"You don't think you can get rid of me so easily, do you?" she asked, keeping up with Joan.

"Go away!" Joan snapped.

"Fine. It's okay with me if your brother hears this, but I'm not so sure it would be okay with you."

Joan stopped in her tracks and faced the girl, who was smiling in spite of Joan's fulminating stare. "Fine!" Joan said a little too loudly. Her cheeks were red. "Luke, you go ahead, I'll catch up."

With a nonplussed expression, Luke walked away, leaving Joan alone with the girl.

"What do you want?"

"A better attitude from you," God said a bit too cheerful. "You've become so sulky."

"You're in no position to ask that from me, I can feel whatever I want to feel, it's all part of free will," Joan retorted, trying not to be rude, though it was difficult.

"But it's not a request; it's a piece of advice. Sulking doesn't suit you. You have a lot to be happy about."

"Like what? Like the fact that I lost a good friend? Like the fact that everyone thinks I'm crazy? Like the fact that Adam will never speak to me again?" The mere mention of Adam brought tears to Joan's eyes. But God was still smiling.

"Adam will stay in school now. You prevented him from making a big mistake."

"Well I feel like I've made a big mistake myself."

God rolled Her eyes. "Is that all you care about? How this all affects you? Don't you care about the fact you saved your friend in more ways than one? You may not see it now, but you did the right thing."

"I pushed him away from me!" Joan said exasperated; God could be so dense sometimes. "I betrayed his trust, I made him believe I'm the worst person, not to mention friend, in the world. I hurt and completely shattered his feelings."

Just when she was on the brink of crying, God stopped smiling.

"I'm sorry it turned out the way it did for you; I'm sorry you came out affected by it." God gave Joan a sympathetic look, but it was quickly replaced by the smile. "However, you learn from your mistakes. And there's always a brand new day to look forward to."

Hadn't this girl been God, Joan would have kicked her. Of all the shapes God had manifested Himself to Joan, this girl was the most obnoxious.

"If this is all you came to say, you can go now. I don't need cheering up, I don't want cheering up. I prefer showing true depression than fake happiness."

Joan was about to walk away, but decided not to, as God seemed to not be done yet.

"Well, yeah, that's pretty much all I came to do."

Joan was a little surprised. "You're not giving me a mission?"

God thought about it for a moment, but then She shrugged dismissively. "No, there's no new mission."

Joan blinked. "Oh… thanks."

"I figured you need time to think; and after the time to think, of course, comes the time to take action."

Joan blinked again. "I don't think I know what you mean."

God started walking slowly, and Joan kept at Her side. "I came to give you advice."

"On what?"

"You know, on this whole thing. You talk about it as if it were over."

With a big sigh, Joan rolled her eyes at God. "You're gonna have to speak more plainly."

"Here," God said, gesturing for Joan to sit with Her on a bench. "Do you know the difference between a problem and an inconvenience? Because what you have is a very good example. On the one hand: you've destroyed Adam's sculpture, apparently along with your friendship. He's angry and hurt; he stays in school in the end, but he acts like you don't exist. For the moment, I repeat, _for the moment, it seems like your friendship is ruined."_

Joan wasn't sure what made her sadder; God talking about the situation as if it were nothing, or hearing the retelling of what happened and remembering the reason for her misery.

God cleared Her throat. "On the other hand, what could have been: you don't destroy Adam's sculpture, he gets the idea he can live off the money he gets for his art, so he leaves school because he says he doesn't need it anymore; it's a risky decision. You might still be friends with him, but here's a friend who will have a life full of difficulties and uncertainty. And even so, there's still the possibility that you might never see him again."

God paused and pushed Her hair behind Her ear. "So… what do you think? Which one is the problem and which one the inconvenience?"

Joan made a face. "They're both my problems," she said sourly.

"No," God replied, shaking Her head with a chuckle. "The problem would have been if Adam had left school. Now how would you fix that? It's not easy, not very probable. What you have is an inconvenience. Adam's in school, but he's angry at you. It's not easy to fix, either, but much more probable." She paused, realizing Joan still looked disheartened. "You can't turn back time on the mistakes you make, but you can let time run its course and heal the wounds. _This too shall pass," She quoted. _

Joan, who had been staring fixedly in the opposite direction, turned to the smiling girl beside her. "You say it like it's so simple," she replied unsurely.

"But it's not, and I already said so," God answered. "But just because something is difficult doesn't mean you just give up, right?"

Joan sighed. She was starting to feel a sort of hope rising in her heart. She hadn't felt something like it in a while, and God had given it to her. "No, it doesn't," she said firmly.

"Good."

"But what more can I do? How do I try again and not get the same result? I already apologized."

God blew at Her bangs with a grin. "Well, I guess now you could try and tell the truth."

Not sure if She meant what Joan thought She meant, she looked God straight in the eye. "The truth?"

"The truth," God said, and She winked.

Joan was confused and a bit disbelieving. "Are you serious?"

"There are three reasons why I am serious: one, Adam might not be sure if he can trust you again, but he will, in the end. Meanwhile, you know you can trust him. Two, I make this exception for someone you really care for, just to be fair. I know you don't really think I'm fair most of the time, but… well, you wouldn't understand how it is. Not now, at least. And three… well, I guess it is about time he knew. And same goes for you."

Joan wasn't sure she understood reason number three, but she smiled, for the first time in what felt like a very long time, because she felt that things could (and would) be okay.

"Well, I gotta go. And so do you; you have class soon," God said, standing up, and Joan did the same. "Just remember, don't doubt yourself. You're a whole lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. Especially when it comes to someone you really care about." She patted Joan's shoulder. "Just so you know, I'll be around if you need me."

And God walked away, brown hair bouncing, leaving Joan with a certain relief in her mind and heart, and a renewed strength to face new challenges.

++++++++++++

_It does not end here, folks. It might sound like it, it actually could pass off as an ending, but it's not. More to come soon. Sorry it's taking me so long, but I've been busy. Thanks to my good pals, Tough Cookie and Sebastian Melmoth (The Original Chemist), it means a lot that you read this story, I know you're not really JoA fans. Thanks to Joey for the inspiration (and wasn't she great in this episode? She would make a pretty good God)._

_Does anyone wanna go check my other fic on the making? The Harry Potter crossover with the yet unknown Fool Time (courtesy of the aforementioned Tough Cookie). Maybe you'll like it. Just thought I'd do a little harmless promoting, in case there are any HP fanfic fanatics in this domain too. Who knows, maybe T.C. will finally sign up to her own FF.net account and post the original story once and for all. _

_Ciao, amicos!!!!_

[ In the darkNess ]


	3. Portrait of an apology

_I have a message for Sebastian. Mate, if you're reading this, go check your yahoo inbox, it's full and I can't e-mail you. And you should get messenger already. I also wanted to say, I read Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code", it's really, really, reeaaaally good, probably the best book I've ever read, so yeah, you should read it. I like to think it was specially written for us, the skeptic Roman Catholic Italians who do not like to conform. Isn't it weird, maybe even a little scary, how your views on hierarchical history can shift so easily when the truth is thrown into your face? It's happening. Abbiamo vinto._

_Rambling aside, I reckon there will be five chapters to this story, but I could lengthen it, or I could write a sort of sequel, or I could move on to something completely different. For the moment, I just want to finish this story so I can go finish the other one on the works, which I have completely neglected these past days. But suggestions are welcome; I really don't like making this sort of decisions._

_More special appearances by God coming up. Thanks to the reviewers (why hasn't Joey reviewed? Where is she? She was the special guest in the last chapter; she should have been the first to review!!)._

_Disclaimer: Don't own anyone or anything but the plot. Don't sue._

_Here goes…_

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Brand New Day – by In the darkNess

Look what I've done, this picture I've painted

It looks like my heart or what still remains

Convinced of the weight your interpretations

Are not what I see, I wish they could be

But I remember it much redder

And I remember it much brighter

-- Jars of Clay, _Portrait of an apology--._

Chapter three: Portrait of an Apology

Luke was surprised when, the next time he saw her, his sister walked into AP Chemistry wearing a content look on her face. Hadn't she been sad a moment ago, just like she had been all week? He wondered what could have happened to her between now and the moment he left her with the strange girl in the blue jacket, that cheered her up.

Maybe things between Joan and Adam were okay now, he mused. Luke hadn't seen Adam yet today; he would soon anyway, assuming the guy would come to class. And if the problem had been solved, then Luke wouldn't have to talk to Adam after all, which was good, because he had no idea of how that would go.

But Joan seemed okay. After her week-long trance-like catatonic slide, it was only likely that reconciliation with Adam would be the only thing to get her happy again. And Luke off the hook.

However, that was clearly not the case, he realized disappointingly, when Adam trailed in behind a couple of other students and took his usual seat. Today, Grace Polk had stubbornly reclaimed her own usual seat, on the far right, forcing Joan to sit in the middle, next to Adam. Adam sat down wordlessly and fixed his eyes on the front of the room, and Joan looked at him wistfully for a split second, her smile fading, before staring up ahead too. Luke observed all this and he sighed and shook his head. So much for getting off the hook.

Consequently, he had a difficult time focusing on today's lesson. In his head he was trying to figure out what he would say to Adam (he didn't even know how much he should really intervene in the whole situation), while working out some formulas for the assigned problems. It wasn't easy, he wasn't getting much figured out, and by the end, he was as clueless as he was at the beginning. When the class was dismissed, he couldn't muster up the nerve to call out to Adam, and he watched him leave the classroom with the students filing out. He could have thwacked himself for being a wuss, but he caught sight of Grace and Joan lagging behind, and he got an idea. 

"Wait, Grace," he hissed, reaching out to take Grace's arm. "Can we talk for a second?"

Joan walked out obliviously, and Grace turned to Luke, a knowing expression on her face. "This is about your sister, isn't it?"

"Yeah, well, sort of. I thought maybe you could… talk to Adam, actually, and see if you can, you know, find out what's really going on."

"Why not ask Joan?"

"Um, well, I figured if it's Adam who seems to have a problem with Joan, and not the other way around, then it would be more… er, effective to ask him what that problem is… don't you think?"

Grace nodded. "Okay… well, what do you need me for? Why don't you talk to him yourself?"

Luke looked hesitant. "Erm, I would, but… I don't know… it's—"

"You're such a coward," Grace said, rolling her eyes, and motioning to the door. "Anyway, I have a better idea," she added and walked out. Luke sighed exasperatedly and followed her. 

++++++++++++++

"Girardi, wait up!"

Joan spun around to see Grace catching up with her as she walked toward her locker before second period.

"Hey, uhh, I was wondering…" Grace began tentatively. This was weird.

"Yes?"

"Is there perhaps anything I can… do to help fix things… between you and Adam?"

Joan was taken aback by Grace's sudden vocal mildness. Usually she was a bit more blunt and articulate than that. She supposed Grace Polk didn't usually offer to be a sentimental mediator for a friend in need.

"Look, I apologized, I reasoned, I pleaded. It didn't work. I think things are actually getting worse between us. Nothing has changed and that's bad enough." Joan put on a pained look, and Grace attempted one of pity as she walked alongside listening intently. "The only chance I've got left is to tell him the truth, and hope he will believe me. But I don't even know how I'm gonna get him to listen to me in the first place."

Grace tried not to make a face, and she looked awkwardly at her friend. "Well, maybe I can help you with that," she offered. "Maybe he'll listen to me, and I can convince him to listen to you. I don't know if it'll work, but I can try."

"You'd do that?" Joan asked, a mixture of gratefulness and surprise on her face.

Grace shrugged, trying to be nonchalant. "Hey, no promises, but… you know."

They stopped at their respective lockers and each spun their own combinations and popped them open. As she pulled out some books, Joan stared at her friend curiously out of the corner of her eye, smiling at Grace's astonishingly nice behavior.

"Why are you doing this? Not that I don't appreciate it, but… this is so unlike you."

"Because I'm tired of sitting in the middle of you two giving each other the silent treatment," Grace declared harshly, as if she had been waiting a really long time to say it. She shoved a couple of heavy textbooks a little too hard into her locker. "And I can't hang out with both of you at the same time. I'm either with you, or I'm with Adam. It's getting frustrating and really annoying." She slammed the door shut and leaned against it. "And, well… your brother is worried about you, and he wanted to find a way to help, and I joined forces with him."

Joan looked even more shocked. She definitively didn't expect Luke to get involved in such issues of the heart, especially not to help his sister. "Really? He's in on this too?"

"Not quite yet. He's such a sissy. But he's handy. Anyway, I'll talk to Adam. I'll go and try to talk some sense into him. And then I'll tell you how it goes."

Joan sighed flustered, and toyed with the little cheerleader sculpture Adam had made for her when she had tried out for the squad. "I don't know why, I doubt this will work." She wondered how she could even think that, after what God had said. She was nervous because she was actually going to tell Adam the truth; it was revealing a very strange secret about her.

"Hey, no more sulking," Grace retorted. "Don't worry, I think I've got a plan. It just might work."

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"Yo, Adam!"

Adam looked up from his sketchbook, where he had been hopelessly trying to work out some inspiration before recess was over. It had been evasive all week, he couldn't get a single decent idea juiced out of his head. It was as if everything had changed since "that day", and he was blocked.

Grace was coming his way. "Hey, Grace," he said, looking back down as she approached.

His friend stood over him, looking strangely conspicuous, and not hiding it very well. "Hey, have you seen Joan lately?" she asked in pretend casualty.

Adam grimaced at the mention of her name. He knew where this was going. "I guess. Don't remember."

"I have; she looks pretty down. Wonder what could be wrong with her…"

"Grace, don't… just don't," Adam groaned tiredly.

"Just thought you might know what it is. Did she do something to you?"

"Look, what happened between me and Joan is between me and Joan. I don't want to be rude, but don't butt in." He wasn't yelling. His low voice resulted a bit more intimidating when accompanied by the piercing hard stare he was now giving Grace.

Grace would have continued to think the matter was not as serious as it was made out to be after all, had Adam used the name "Jane" instead of "Joan" (with a great deal of disdain in his tone, she noted). This was worse than she had imagined.

"Listen, Adam, I don't know in full detail what happened that day. I only know about half of it. But what I want to get at is, there has got to be a way you guys can make up." She was authentically serious now. "You don't really want this to be like it is now forever, do you? I mean, it's _Joan we're talking about! You like Joan, don't you? Why would you do this to someone you like?"_

Adam stuffed his sketchbook in his bag and stood up, looking Grace straight in the eye. Grace nearly recoiled; it was unlike him to get exasperated like that.

"It's not a matter of what I'm doing to her; it's what _she_ did to me. If we're like this, it's because of _her_. This is all _her_ fault, not mine. And no, I wouldn't like this to be like now forever, but that's not really up to me."

Without another word, he walked away and down the corridor, and disappeared around the far corner. Grace only stood there, staring after him, shaking her head. She was a little thrown off by his tirade, and his words reverberated in the empty hallway.

Luke came up behind her from around the corner. "How'd it go?" he asked.

"Not as well as I hoped, but something in there gave in. I think, to some extent, it worked," she replied.

"What now?"

"This is were you come in. Now don't be a coward and do your part, and do it well."

"Don't give me that," Luke retorted, and he walked down the hallways the same way Adam had gone. Grace followed him with her eyes, smirking, then went another way.

++++++++++++++

"But that's for next week. Why would you need to do this now?" Adam asked Luke as they walked back the way they had come. Luke was leading Adam to the library under the pretext that he needed to do some research for the AP chem assignment for next week, and he could use the help of someone who was in today's class. It wasn't a very believable excuse, but Luke hadn't had much time to think it through.

"Well, if you turn it in earlier, you get extra credit. And I could use it."

Adam gave him a sideways glance, indicating he wasn't very convinced. Luke racked his brain. "Erm, my partner's been lazing lately. I think he could get me in trouble." Adam shrugged, which Luke interpreted as either he thought it made sense or he didn't care.

"Okay," Luke sighed nervously, pushing the door to the library open. He looked around; it was still empty. He and Grace had checked just a while ago. Only the librarian was there, busy with something at the other end of the room.

"Well, why don't you sit down over there, and I'll go check on some books we could use," Luke suggested, gesturing to the tables in one corner.

Adam went to the nearest table and sat at the head; his back was to the door, and Luke cocked an eyebrow. _How convenient_, he thought, and he took his chance and left the library, quietly and unnoticed. He stood outside, waiting, and a moment later, Grace showed up, with Joan right beside her. Joan looked anxious and uneasy.

"Here we are. Well, here she is," Grace said theatrically.

"I can't believe you're doing this," Joan told Luke.

"I can't believe it either," Luke replied. But they looked at each other and smiled. "Well, get in there; he's alone."

"Thanks, guys," Joan grinned at them both.

"No problem," Grace said dismissively.

"Good luck," Luke added.

Taking a deep breath, Joan passed through the doors.

++++++++++++++++

She was in the same room with Adam, alone and without any distractions. After all the shades of grey her life had taken over the past week, she hadn't thought it possible, that everything would suddenly be looking up again. That she would be able to bridge the distance between them.

Her stomach was a knot as she approached the table. Adam hadn't seen her yet. She walked around and came to sit next to him. It was only then that he noticed her presence. He probably had thought it was Luke. But just as quickly as he had seen her, it became as if she wasn't there at all.

"Hi, Adam," she whispered, smiling weakly.

He said nothing. He didn't even look at her.

"Don't pretend I'm not here," she said in a pained voice, "because I am, and I'm not going anywhere until you listen to me."

His eyes shifted from the table onto her, but there was no warmth in them. He had never looked at her with such cold intensity as he did now. But Joan didn't waver under his stare, even when her confidence diminished slightly.

"I'm just going to say what I came to say, and you can believe me if you want or not. But I swear what I'm about to say is true. I want to tell you the truth."

Adam leaned back in his chair slowly, arms crossed over his chest, never taking his eyes off of her. He was listening. Joan didn't know where to begin.

"Well, um…" she searched her mind. "Do you remember that time, in the bookstore where I work, when you asked me what was going on with me? That time everyone was wondering why in the world would I suddenly want to build a boat?" She didn't wait for him to answer; she didn't think he would, anyway. "You didn't, like everyone else, ask me as if you thought I was crazy. You just wanted to know, to understand. You were offering to listen and not question." She paused and looked down. "I could have told you everything then, but something stopped me. Or rather, _someone_. Someone told me you had problems of your own, and you didn't need to deal with mine. That someone was God."

Joan stopped to see Adam's reaction. He showed none; he didn't look strangely at her or laughed or anything. He didn't even blink.

"I was just settling into my new life here in Arcadia, when I began to get –this is going to sound odd- frequent visits from God," Joan continued. "He always looks different, but I know it's Him because he proves it. He knows things about me and everyone that any person couldn't possibly know about anyone. That's how I know. He comes around and He gives me a mission. Sort of my good deed of the day. I don't always know what the point is, though. In the end, I don't always find out either, but sometimes I do. And sometimes it's scary, not knowing where it's going or if I can pull it off. But I have no choice, I have to do it. I don't want to find out what would happen if I didn't do it." She looked at the floor again. "I almost did."

Her mouth felt dry. "The, the boat was a mission. It somehow brought my dad and my brother Kevin back together after a big argument they had. God doesn't explain these things to me; I'm supposed to figure them out myself. I have to admit, though, I can be a bit dense sometimes," she added with a chuckle.

Joan could almost feel Adam's gaze burning a hole in her head. She cleared her throat. "My last mission was the worst one yet. Rather the one that has turned out the worst. Sometimes things barely turn out fine. But this time…" she took a breath," God told me… he told me to keep your sculpture out of the art show. But he didn't say why; he never does. So I tried to do what he told me. But I wasn't sure if I wanted to do it, actually. It didn't feel right. It felt like I was sabotaging you. I thought that I could buy it from you, no harm in that, and you were even willing to give it to me as a gift, but you still wanted it to be a part of the show. And I didn't want to take that away from you." 

As she moved through the account on the events, she felt her throat tightening. "And then that lady bought it, and you suddenly got the idea that you could live off the money you could make from selling your artwork, and you wanted to drop out of school, and you wouldn't listen to any of us who were trying to tell you it was a very bad idea. And I realized this was the reason why God hadn't wanted your sculpture in the show. I got worried, and I knew if you made a mistake, it would be my fault, because I could have prevented it."

Joan swallowed the lump in her throat. "So I panicked. I didn't know what else to do, so I wrecked your sculpture." She gave him an apologetic look. "I should have tried to find a better way to fix things, but all I could think of at the moment was to find the easiest and fastest way to sabotage your plans. To keep you in school. I wish I had found another way."

There was a silence, in which they heard a noise in the aisle of bookshelves nearest to them. The librarian was there, but they ignored her. Joan licked her lips and looked at Adam.

"And to think it all got started by your sculpture. By something beautiful you made. I wish I hadn't destroyed it. But I did it for a reason. Now you know what that reason was."

Something glistened in Adam's eyes, and Joan thought it was tears, but she couldn't be sure. She couldn't get past the steely coldness in them.

"I know I've said I'm sorry hundreds of times, but I really am. I thought that, now you know the truth, you would understand and you would be able to forgive me. Because I would never do anything like that for no reason at all. And I would never want to hurt your feelings like I did. "Her eyes met his in spite of his stare. "I can't stand you being mad at me."

Another absolute silence followed her speech, and Joan became restless. "That's all I had to say. It would be really good if you could say something now."

Very slowly, Adam looked down at his lap, and put his hands on the table in front of him. He seemed to be taking in everything she had said. Then, just as slowly, his gaze met hers again, and his eyes were even steelier.

"You know," he began, his voice as cold as his stare. "I really don't understand why you do some of the things that you do. I never asked you; I never meant to make you feel like you needed to explain yourself. I trusted you and that was that." He sighed. "But now, I don't think I can ever trust you again. Not after what you did." He picked up his bag and motioned to leave. Joan stood up too and grabbed his arm before he could walk away.

"You don't believe me?" she asked. He appeared to think about it, but he shook his head.

"I don't know… I don't think so," he said hesitantly, and took back his arm.

"What do you mean 'you don't think so'?" she demanded.

"What do you expect?" he retorted. She was blank. Adam was almost at the door now, but Joan pulled him around and took his hands into hers. She had tears in her eyes.

"Is there a chance you will ever forgive me?"

Unmoved by her pleading, Adam kept a straight face. "I guess not," he said bluntly. "You know, you're not the girl I thought you were," he mumbled. For a second, Joan looked as if she had just been struck, but her expression turned to one of disappointment and sadness.

"Then you're not the guy I thought you were, either."

Adam stared at her for a moment, then he turned to leave, pushing through the double doors.

"But I love you anyway," she whispered, watching him go. But he didn't hear her; he was already gone.

On his way out, Adam saw Grace and Luke lurking nearby, as if standing guard. They stopped arguing quietly when they saw him and followed him with their eyes. Adam ignored them; he couldn't deal with any of this right now. The bell rang, and as the students flooded back in from recess, Adam rushed up the stairs and left the school building.

++++++++++++++

"Joan, what happened?"

Luke entered the library, followed by Grace, and found Joan standing stone still, her eyes unfocused, as if she were about to cry. She didn't have to say anything for them to realize it hadn't worked.

"I'm sorry, Joan," Grace muttered.

Joan swallowed hard and took a deep breath, her tears threatening to spill over. Luke came to stand next to his sister, and he was about to put his arm around her, but she stepped back and away. "Um, thanks for your help, guys, but… I just want to be left alone, please."

Grace nodded. "Well, see you in class, then." Luke looked at Joan worriedly, unsure if he should leave her alone. But Grace tugged at his sleeve and pulled him along, and they left. She was alone now. Or so she thought.

"It's a good thing you didn't go after him," a voice said. Joan snapped out of her trance to see the librarian come out from behind a bookcase. She was a middle-aged woman with dark hair streaked with grey and a pair of no-nonsense reading glasses hanging around her neck, and she carried a ton of books in her arms. Joan blinked between confusion at what she meant, and indignation at the woman's nerve to listen in on her conversation.

"Excuse me?" she managed to ask.

"Adam needs time to think. You need time to be patient," the librarian continued, putting the books on a table. Joan realized who it was then, and she sighed depressingly.

"I think I only made things worse," she grumbled.

"You think wrong. That actually went quite well."

Joan looked at God as if She were crazy. "Were you paying any attention at all? He obviously didn't believe a word I said!"

"He hasn't decided that yet. He's confused. He needs time to think," God cleared.

"You're saying he might believe me?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe? 'Maybe' is not good enough."

"Yes, it is."

God sounded a bit severe, so Joan thought it was best not to argue. She mulled over God's words. What was she supposed to do now?

"Don't despair, don't fret, don't think negatively, and don't give up. That's a couple of things you can do, or _not do,_ in the meantime," God said, obviously reading Joan's thoughts.

Joan sighed for the umpteenth time that day. She still felt like crying; she had hoped so hard.

"Is it really possible?" she found herself asking out loud.

God gave a sort of chuckle, fumbling with the books in Her hands. "You don't know how much," She mumbled. Joan supposed that was true, because she didn't understand what God meant by that.

"Just wait. Trust me," God patted Joan's arm. "Ever heard of 'if you really love something, let it go, and if it's really yours it will come back'?"

"That's not quite how it goes," Joan teased.

"Well, you get the gist."

"Yeah, I know…"

"Speaking of which," God continued, "meanwhile why don't you think about what you said? I'm sure you'll find something very interesting."

Joan looked confused. "What did I say?" she asked. But just then, she understood.

God smirked. "Don't play dumb. You heard yourself."

++++++++++++++

_I'm so predictable, am I? (If you know me, of course. If you don't, I just come across as cheesy). And this actually turned out shorter than I thought._

_A/N: I'm sorry it took me a while to post this. I was gonna do it sooner, but then a trip popped up. I traveled Thrusday night, now I'm in my homey homey Venezia, Italia, and the story kinda got side-tracked by an extensive to-do list. But aaah… here I am, recovering from jet lag and an impromptu benvenuto par-tay, and I can finally finish typing the last bit of this chapter and post it. Hope you liked it. _

_Seb, if you're reading this, I have another request. We should join forces!!!! (Okay, it's not so much a request as it is a command). I have some ideas that I need to work out, and I could use some help. You have an FF.net account and you've never posted anything (I'm starting to think you signed up just to give yourself a bio). This could be your very first post. But to discuss this further, YOU NEED TO GET MESSENGER!!! (and that IS a command). Also… come and visit me in Venezia, pleaaaaaaaaase!!!!_

_I love putting song lyrics in my stories, even if they have nothing to do with the plot. Hehe, here's another bit:_

And I would be the one

To hold you down, kiss you so hard

I'll take your breath away

And after I wiped away your tears

Just close your eyes, dear.

-- Sarah McLachlan, _Possession --._

[ In the darkNess ]


	4. God put a smile upon your face

_Stupid Joey told me a couple of spoilers from the series (man, I hate being so behind in the episodes)! Oh well, works for me anyway, I rewrote a few things in this chapter based on what Joey "let slip", and I'm sure all of you who are up to date with the series episodes unlike me will be glad. So thank you for that, blabbermouth Joey McGregor. But be warned: any more "slips" and something very bad might happen to blue jacket girl /God.  _

_Note to Innogen: no, I wasn't talking about you. Sorry for the misunderstanding. I was talking to my good mate, Sebastian Melmoth (The Original Chemist), who has an FF.net account but hasn't posted anything other than his own very elaborate (tho quite nifty) bio, and some reviews. I thought I would get him to post something once and for all._

_Disclaimer: don't own anything except the plot. _

_Dear Joey ever-so-charmingly dubbed this chapter something really cute, but since it's my style (and Sebastian says I've got a weird lyrics fetish), I'm gonna stick with my custom of naming chapters after a title or piece of lyric of a song that inspired me during the writing of the chapter. So here goes (don't laugh)._

+++++++++++

Brand New Day – by In the darkNess

Where do we go, nobody knows

Don't ever say you're on your way down when

God gave you style and gave you grace

God put a smile upon your face

-- Coldplay, _God put a smile upon your face --._

Chapter Four: God put a smile upon your face (a.k.a "Are you there, Adam? It's me, God")

Adam kicked at the dirt and huffed. He was roaming around the school grounds, which had just been cleared by all the students that hung outside during recess. He really didn't feel like going to class right now. There was no one around, so he had the chance to be alone out there, to have some time to think. And he needed to think a lot. Dropping his bag to the ground, he sat underneath a nearby tree and put his head in his hands.

Why did it have to be like this? Why did he have to feel this torn? It was frustrating. He wanted to forgive Joan, to be friends with her again, but then he would remember what she had done, the images flashing through his head like a nightmare, and he would feel hurt again. What she had said in the library, how could she possibly be telling the truth? He didn't understand why she would make up a story like that, and it didn't help to change his mind at all. What Joan had done was unforgivable, and as much as it pained him to shut her out, he couldn't bring himself to let her back in.

Adam sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It was painful to lose his friend, to lose this girl who had once meant so much to him. There was a large void in him, a void that stretched between two visions of Joan; the Joan he had fallen for, and the one who had broken his heart.

All week he'd had to endure his own stubbornness, the battle of the heart and the mind. A part of him was eager to hold on to that grudge, while the other part was willing to let go, willing to be forgiving, just because it was Jane.

But he hadn't understood why she had done it.

He didn't know which part of him was right and which one was wrong. And now there was a new side to the coin.

The truth. Could it really be the truth, everything she had just told? Back when he first met her, perhaps he would have believed her without hesitation. But now, nothing made sense. He found himself questioning her honesty, even her integrity. And he questioned himself and his reason, the reason why he had imagined her to be special, why she was worth so much to him in the first place.

It had all changed. Joan had not only shattered his sculpture that day; she had shattered herself. Broken in Adam's mind. He never would have thought it possible. He never would have wanted it to happen.

Adam closed his eyes for a moment, and cleared his mind. He forgot about Joan, forgot her face, forgot everything about her. He only listened to the silence around him. It was relieving not to think about her for a while.

"Aren't you supposed to be in there?" 

Adam's eyes flew open, and he saw a tall black man standing a few feet away. He wore a jumpsuit and carried a large sack and a stick, with which he picked up papers and litter. Adam was a bit startled; he could have sworn there was no one around just a second ago. It was like this guy dropped out of thin air.

At the sight of Adam's flummoxed expression, the man jabbed his thumb in the direction of the school.

"Oh," Adam breathed, "yeah, I know. But our calculus teacher is always late. It's okay."

The man shook his head. "That's not what I meant," he said. "Isn't there a conversation with Joan you left unfinished?"

Not sure if he heard correctly, Adam shook his head slightly, as if to clear his mind. "Pardon?"

The man impaled what looked like a crumpled milk carton and dropped it in the sack. "You heard me. Why do you put it off again and again? You know you will eventually forgive her, even if you don't forget what happened."

Adam stood up slowly. His forehead creased and then he let out a chuckle. "Whoa, hold on a second," he said. But when he looked at the guy in front of him, he fell silent.

A smile was playing at the corner of the man's lips, half-hidden by his mustache. "No, you're not hallucinating, and yes, you heard correctly," he said.

Adam looked around, half-expecting someone to pop out of a bush and tell him they were just playing with his mind. No one else was around. He stared at the man up and down, looking utterly bewildered.

"I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Before I answer that, let me tell you what I think about this whole conflict of opinions you've got going on," the man replied, ignoring Adam's confused expression. "I think you're afraid of what this might mean, this revelation; to hear it from someone like Joan. Because you know she couldn't possibly make something like this up. And you know you believe her. Yes, strangely enough, you do. But this creates a conflict for you, doesn't it? Because you don't believe in God the way most people do. He's not the merciful miracle-working omnipotent heavenly Father. To you, God is just the one who took your mother away."

Adam's breath caught in his throat. He opened and closed his mouth several times, but no sound came out.

The man leaned on his stick thoughtfully. "When your mother died, you were angry at her. Do you remember that? You were angry at her because she abandoned you. But you couldn't stay nearly as angry with her as you wanted to be, because you missed her so much. 

"So you redirected that anger and aimed it at God. He was the one to blame for your mother leaving you. And you couldn't believe in what people say about everything happening for a reason. You didn't, couldn't, understand why your mother would want to die. So it had to be God's fault, right?" 

He straightened up. "You do believe in God, but you're permanently angry at him. And between that anger and your sadness for your mother, your art was the only thing that helped you cope."

At this point, Adam was absolutely speechless. He realized he was leaning heavily against the tree now, because his legs threatened to give out from underneath his body.

"However, you nearly forgot all about your anger toward God, didn't you, when Joan came along," the man said as he continued with his work. "She had this peculiar effect on you when you met her; it's like she brought sense back to your life. In a way, Joan seemed to fill the emptiness that had been left in you after your mother's death. You realized this when you saw that Joan showed the same appreciation for your artwork as your mother had. And so you no longer made your sculptures for your mother alone, but for Joan too."

He began to walk around as he spoke, picking the litter, and Adam found himself following closely, immersed in what this stranger was saying.

"How—" Adam choked out finally, "How do you—"

"Know all this?" the man finished for him. "I thought you had figured it out by now. Didn't Joan just tell you all about me?"

Adam tried to straighten his thoughts, and he shook his head in disbelief. "But—but that's… that's—"

"Impossible? Why? How do you know for sure something is impossible?"

"I… don't know."

"Adam, it's the truth," the man said, grinning. "I am God."

"You… can't be?"

"Is that a question or a statement?"

"I don't know!" Adam practically shouted. He was vexed by all the questions. This was a bit frightening. This stranger knew way too much about him, about his life and his thoughts, and now he claimed to be God. He was afraid he was dealing with a psycho. That's couldn't mean anything good. Adam was ready to break into a run just in case.

He felt like he was about to be sucked into a whirlpool, and he suddenly felt dizzy. Before he let his paranoia take over, he looked intently at the guy in the jumpsuit, who was staring back just as fixedly. It was impossible for someone to know all this man knew; his private thoughts, his memories. It was impossible… for a regular person. 

But not for God.

The man's grin reappeared as he studied Adam's change of expression. "It makes a lot of sense, and yet it makes none at all, right? I should know, it's not really something easy to accept," he said. He knew exactly what Adam was thinking. 

Adam made a noise between a snort of laughter and a scornful sniff, and his disbelieving expression turned to a frown. He was imagining this, he was hallucinating. Without a second glance, he went back to the tree and picked up his bag. 

"This isn't real," he muttered mostly to himself. "You're not real." He added, pointing an accusing finger at the stranger.

"It's not over, Adam," the man called after him as Adam walked away.

"Oh, yes it is," Adam replied over his shoulder, and he climbed down the little steep hill that led to the street.

God followed Adam with His eyes, unfazed, and merely carried on with his labor. Adam stepped onto the sidewalk and made it to the corner of the building, and only turned once to see if the man was still watching him. But he was gone.

Feeling a bit vulnerable in the open, Adam rounded the school building and came to the entrance on the other side, the back side, facing the football field. As he came to the steps that led up to the door, an orange Frisbee landed at his feet. He picked it up and looked around, and saw a boy about six or seven years old, with mousy brown hair and dirty play clothes, running up to him from the football field, a large Golden Retriever jogging behind him.

"I suppose this is yours," Adam asked, and the kid nodded.

"Thanks, Adam," the boy said, taking back his Frisbee. Adam froze on the spot.

"Yeah, it's me again," the boy grinned. "See? This is what Joan was talking about. I thought I would give you a demonstration."

Nearly tripping over his own feet, Adam sat down on the steps and blinked hard. "God?" he asked in a low voice.

"There you go, I knew you'd catch on," God said gleefully, sitting beside Adam. "You're not one for skepticism, you know. It's just not you. Though I'm not saying you're gullible, either."

After a couple of seconds of straining his common sense, Adam managed to speak. "Wait. You expect me to believe you're God?"

"You already do, anyway. But it's really weird, isn't it, so I don't expect it to be so easy for you to realize you do," God explained. Adam wanted to laugh; it was funny listening to this little kid talking like a grown-up. "Same thing happened with Joan when I first visited her. Right here in the school, and I looked like a regular high school guy. She thought I was crazy. But she gave in, eventually. And you have, too. Otherwise, why don't you just get up and leave?

Adam stared at the boy curiously. Whether it was because he was dizzy or he actually wanted to listen to what this boy had to say, he didn't know, but he didn't move.

"You've always been very open-minded; it's sort of part of being an artist. With Joan, that was not the case; she's always been more skeptical. But she's changed a lot. Especially thanks to you. Remember when you told her you talked to angels? She didn't laugh. Why would she? She talks to me," God said. "Or rather, _with me."_

Adam nodded. There was something comforting about listening to this innocent-looking child talk about Joan. He hadn't ever talked about Joan with anyone.

"When she was telling me about G--, well, you, in the library," Adam started, because he needed to say out loud what he was thinking, so he could put it in perspective, "I didn't believe it right away. But somehow I didn't think she was lying either. I was thrown off. I guess that's one of the reasons why I left like that."

"I understand," God replied. "I suppose it must sound very strange."

"It's bizarre. I'm still not sure I believe it."

God rolled His eyes. "I thought we had agreed that you do," He said. "Anyway, Joan was telling the truth. Why would she make up a story like that?"

Adam didn't answer. God petted the dog's head absently-minded.

"She's been wanting to tell you everything practically since you met. She thought you were perhaps the only person who would ever believe her. I just didn't let her until now. I had to measure the consequences."

"And why let her now?"

"Because Joan's a good person. She's never disappointed me. She's learned a lot since we met. I thought I would give something back to her," God began, smiling broadly.  "She really wanted to work things out with you. And what better way to do that than by clearing things up with the truth?"

Once again, Adam was speechless.

"She was right. You _do believe her," God added with a wink. "You've always thought there's something special about Joan. Now you know what that is."_

A whole minute passed and neither of them spoke. Adam breathed deeply and looked sad. He didn't know what to say, he didn't even know what to think.

Suddenly, the dog sprang up and growled, and then it took off like a rocket and disappeared around the corner. Adam and God stood up and watched it go.

"I'll go get it," Adam said, and he ran after the dog. When he came around the corner, he nearly crashed head-on into a girl.

"S-sorry," he mumbled, making sure she didn't fall off her feet, before he moved away. But she held him by the sleeve of his jacket.

"It's okay, Adam, you don't have to go after the dog. It's not mine, I was just playing with it for a while," she said. Adam was stunned silent again. God was really starting to make him feel dizzier than he already did. This time it was a brown-haired, blue-eyed girl with a blue jacket, and she smiled at him as if he were an old friend.

"Could you not do that anymore? It's freaky."

God shrugged. "Sorry. Just thought I would clear any doubt you might have left; you know, in case you still need proof."

"I see," Adam muttered.

"You know, I should probably tell you to go to class, because you're already late, but since we're having such a nice little chat, I will overlook that," She said. Adam sniffed. This was a nice little chat? His head was beginning to throb from all the shocks he was getting. God seemed not to notice. "So, where were we?" She asked. "Oh yeah: Joan."

She leaned casually against the brick wall. "She's been giving herself way too much of a hard time, you know," She said, and Adam noted She sounded a lot like a girl dishing a piece of gossip to a friend. "True, she could have come up with something better to do than destroy your sculpture. That was rash. But she knew what she had to do, and she did it. We already know what could have happened if she hadn't."

She gave Adam a significant look, and Adam glared. He didn't like the turn the conversation had taken. "Now wait a second, you don't understand—"

"What don't I understand?"

Adam tried to think of a comeback, but realized it would be senseless. He knew God had to be right; and he suddenly felt embarrassed. God sighed.

"You have to look at it this way: it's not just about what you study in books or the grades you get, it's what you learn from your experiences on every day. That's what makes school important," She explained. Swallowing a lump in his throat, Adam nodded. He couldn't meet the blue eyes examining him.

God smiled again. "But that's not what this is about, _completely_," She proceeded. "Because you already know that, right?"

"Yeah," Adam replied, the blush on his cheeks disappearing.

"Getting back on track; Joan was only trying to protect you. Can you believe she actually began to doubt me? She reasoned there was a slight chance the devil could pass off as me. It's not such a farfetched idea, considering that when I asked her to take your sculpture out of the show, she immediately thought I was asking her to do something mean. You were really excited about the show," She added with a smirk. "She really cares about you, more than you know. And if by doing what I told her, she could end up hurting your feelings, then she wouldn't do it. And she was happy for you when you sold your sculpture. But then she learned why it was so important that she did what I had told her to do. And if she really cared about you, she would finally complete her task."

Pausing to think about it for a moment, Adam looked suspiciously at the girl beside him. "You didn't ask her to specifically _destroy_ my sculpture, did you?"

"No, I asked her to _get it out before the show. Since she didn't manage that, she had to find another way. Apparently she doesn't react very well in difficult situation."_

Adam's face darkened. The memory of that day replayed itself in his head for the thousandth time.

"She should have talked to me. I would have listened to her," he said in a small voice.

"Are you absolutely sure about that?"

Adam was going to say yes, but he hesitated.

"Joan knew that, if she had only done as I asked in the first place, she wouldn't be in this situation, you wouldn't be in this position, and I wouldn't be in the middle of it all… but maybe being in this position isn't so wrong for you."

Adam had no idea what God meant. There was something very painful going on in his head. He couldn't think about Joan without feeling pain. And he couldn't look at God, no matter the shape He took, without feeling anger. He was getting tired of being told by this supposed God that he was wrong about everything.

Adam was starting to feel as if he had lost the ability to think for himself. And God was the one who would tell him what to think and feel. Whatever happened to his free will?

And what was God doing there in Arcadia, anyway, talking trivialities with Adam, when there were catastrophes going on right now in the whole world? When elsewhere on the planet, people were starving to death, or suffering devastating diseases, or killing each other in war?

This girl had no right to be smiling friendlily at him.

"You know," Adam began after much pondering, "maybe you're not as almighty as everyone thinks you are."

God's unblinking eyes were staring into Adam's intensely, but Adam didn't waver. He knew She had to know what he was thinking. "If you're so powerful and great, why can't you do all those things on your own, instead of having Joan do them? Why would you need to use a 16-year-old high school student to run your errands?"

He adjusted the strap of his bag around his shoulder, ready to leave. "I don't reckon it makes me feel any better or safer in this forsaken world to know that the Lord's deeds depend on a teenager," he added spitefully, and he walked away.

Not looking once over his shoulder, he came around the corner of the building again, up the hill and onto the grounds where he had been roaming around before. There was a bench near the doors, and he plopped down, putting his head in his hands, like he always did when he felt overwhelmed. He began to mull over his conversation with so-called God, and his head throbbed again and his chest tightened.

Memories flooded back to him, recalling emotions he couldn't hold back in moments like this. Tears filled his eyes as he remembered the pain he felt when his mother killed himself, when he realized his life would never be the same. He would always wonder why she did it. He would always wonder why it had to happen to him. What was God thinking? Why couldn't He give Adam a break?

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He just wanted to forget about everything. He didn't want to think about anything that was wrong with his life, for at least a moment. Not about his mother, not about Joan, and especially not about God.

He was pointlessly battling with his emotions, when he felt someone sit next to him. Looking up slowly, he saw a guy about his age, with dark hair and a brown jacket, beside him. It was cute boy / God. But Adam didn't know him; he'd never seen this guy before. However, he sensed he already knew who it was.

None of them said anything for a long time. They both stared ahead, watching the dog God had been playing with earlier, the Golden Retriever, barking up at the tree Adam had sat beneath. It had chased a squirrel up the tree and made a whole lot of racket expecting to get it to come down.

"Before you say or think anything else regarding my omnipotence," God began, "I think there is something we have to clear up first.

"I'm sorry your mother's suicide caused you so much pain. But you have to understand, it was meant to be. I don't expect you to understand the mysteries of mortality. But there are reasons for everything, and I don't think I should have to explain those reasons to you or anyone. It doesn't make much of a difference anyway. You just have to have faith."

God glanced at Adam, but Adam stared as intently as he could at the tree in front of him, at the barking leaping dog. He didn't want to think about his mother; he couldn't.

"Why not? You always think about her," God knew what was going through his mind again. "No matter why she did it, you will always love her. And she will always love you."

A tear slipped down Adam's cheek, and he shut his eyes hard, trying to contain the rest. Not here, not now; he would not cry and feel sorry for himself. What good would that do? God's words had a powerful effect on him. While the memory of his mother pained him, the sincerity in God's words brought him a sort of comfort he had never felt. And he suddenly felt sorry for everything; for losing his faith, for shutting Joan away. He hadn't realized how screwed thing were right now.

"You're a good person, Adam," God said, smiling as Adam wiped away the tear. "Which is why I felt I had to give something back to you, too." He looked around casually. "That is how you met Joan."

Adam gawked at Him in surprise. God grinned.

"Oh, you didn't know that, did you?" He teased. They both fell silent, looking thoughtful. "It's obvious Joan will never fill the void your mother left," God continued, "but she grew in you. For all her mysterious ways –which are not so mysterious anymore, though—, she became an important part of your life. From the moment she approached that way no one ever had before." He turned to meet Adam's questioning eyes. "But you were insecure."

"It's always scary to fall in love. Not knowing if the person you love feels the same way about you."

"You think I'm in love with Joan?" Adam asked, but he realized he didn't sound very convincing. God gave him a sideways glance, and Adam understood there was no point in denying it. Unconsciously he blushed.

"Do you think… well, does she know?"

God sighed. "She knows; but she doesn't know she does. Just like you know she actually feels the same way, but somehow you haven't realized it yet."

He smirked at Adam's mouth-agape reaction, and He pointed a finger at his face. "See?"

"Are you sure?"

"Joan didn't know how much she really cares about you, how much you really mean to her, until you weren't there anymore. Until she felt she had lost you. Doesn't it happen to everybody? 'You don't know what you've got until it's gone'. She knows that now, and she's been pretty down since then." God leaned back in the bench. "The thing is, Joan needs you, you know, just as much as you need her."

Adam swallowed a lump in his throat. He didn't speak for a while, and he knew God was expecting him to say something. He finally found his voice.

"Every time I want to forgive her, I remember that day. Seeing her standing there in the gym, the chair in her hands, and my sculpture in pieces on the floor," he said, his voice distant and barely audible. "She knew how much it means to me; my art. How it reminds me of my mom." He swallowed again. "It was really hurtful to see her destroy it like that, no matter what her intentions were. Because she didn't trust me enough to try to talk to me first, and that only makes it worse."

He couldn't be angry anymore. He just felt sad.

"No," God responded. "She didn't think you would trust her."

Adam shook his head. "But how am I supposed to get past what she did?"

"If you really care about her, you just do," God answered. "I know it sounds corny, but bottom line is, you can't stay mad at someone who makes you laugh. Same principle applies to someone who makes you smile, who makes your life better just by being a part of it. You know it, because she's _Jane_. And she's _your_ Jane."

 "How can you know all this?" Adam asked in amazement. It was still difficult to believe, he felt a bit like he was dreaming.

God chuckled. "It's not every day two good friends fall in love with each other," He confided. "And I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Adam was silent. He looked at the guy next to him, at the sincerity reflected in His eyes. And he smiled to himself, thinking about Jane.

God promptly stood up. "You better get in there," He said.

"Why?" Adam asked automatically, causing God to roll his eyes.

"You sound a lot like Joan," He muttered. "Just do it. Have a little faith, Adam." Adam smirked apologetically and got up.

"Just remember: time heals all wounds. It is you, however, who decides how long you're willing to wait." They smiled at each other, and Adam walked toward the double doors. He took a deep breath and exhaled before going back into the building.

+++++++++++++

_Just one more chappy to go. I cannot tell you how much I want to get over this fic. Better be done with it before the rest of la familia show up, or I won't have time. Things have been pretty calm around here lately. The chaos starts when the Canavaggios arrive. Yay, Tough Cookie is coming!!!_

_Thanks to Joey for being beta reader. She's my biggest fan. I love her, even when she spoils the series for me. Love ya, Joey!!!_

_I've seen "Drive, He said" some eight times already. I still think it's soooo funny. Luke's genius stupidity cracks me up. That was a good episode._

_Last chapter coming soon to a theatre near you._

_Until then… ciao, amicos._

[ In the darkNess ]


	5. Everything you want

_The Carnival here in Venezia is about to begin!!!! Yay!!!! Endless days of partying non-stop with funky vintage dresses and harlequin costumes and MASKS!!! I love masks. This year the theme will be oriental express, and there are gonna be geisha masks and the sort. Woo-hoo!!! Having a blast already._

_This is the last chapter because I decided not to lengthen the story after all. I just want to get this over with. But I think you will like this ending. Joey AND my good friend Vero (who, by the way, is the anti-cheesy romantic endings) said they liked it. That's something._

_NOTE TO __ISIS__: What do you mean I have tense problems? Are you absolutely sure? (*looks like she might collapse, who would have ever thought Alexz Brostella could have grammar errors in her stories???? Turns green at the prospect of six years of straight A's in English Comp gone into the freakin food disposal.  OH THE HUMANITY!!!*)_

_Inspiration courtesy of Pete Yorn's "Undercover", Vertical Horizon's "Everything you want", Sarah McLachlan's "Fallen", Avril Lavigne's "Naked", Postal Service's "District sleeps alone tonight", Death Cab for Cutie's "Title and Registration", Hot Hot Heat's "Talk to me, dance with me", and Sum 41's "Handle this". I could make myself a soundtrack._

_Disclaimer: don't own anything. Please don't sue._

+++++++++++++

Brand New Day - by In the darkNess 

Somewhere there's speaking, it's already coming in

Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind

You never could get it unless you were fed it

Now you're here and you don't know why.

--Vertical Horizon, _Everything you want_--.

And you were at the start, and now you are at the end

And you left me with nothing to defend

I need the voice of a good friend

Can't stop myself from laughing

No matter how sad these things can be

These things can be.

--Joydrop, _Sometimes wanna die_--.

Chapter five: Everything you want

Twenty minutes into calculus and Joan felt like she had been in that classroom for hours. She couldn't focus, couldn't think about anything else, but the steely coldness of Adam's eyes, of his voice, as he left her alone in the library. He hadn't shown up for calculus, and his absence didn't make her downcast state any easier to deal with. She could still fell the stinging sensation of his disdain, the titillating anger in his words, and it all seemed to point to the fact that he would never ever forgive her, that there was no hope for them to be friends again.

God had been wrong. It was over.

Twenty five minutes.

"Yes, miss Girardi?" Professor Graff, the calculus teacher, acknowledged Joan's raised hand.

"Permission to go to the bathroom, please," she answered, trying to conceal the quiver in her voice.

"Very well," the professor said.

Joan left the stuffy classroom and wandered down the hallway mindlessly, hoping not to run into anyone. She really was not in the mood to talk to anyone. It was when she came to the entrance stairs that she realized the bathroom was on the other end of the hallways, going in the opposite direction. But she really didn't care; she hadn't needed to go there, actually. She just wanted to be alone. Seeing there was in fact no one around, she slumped down onto the steps and buried her face in her hands, and just cried.

Why did it have to hurt so much? Everything was falling apart in her life. One mistake and it had all come tumbling down. She suddenly wished so bad she could turn back time. 

It had only just dawned on her that the reason it hurt so bad was because she actually cared more about Adam than she was aware of most of the time. Because she missed him so much that nothing else seemed to matter at the moment. Their connection had always been difficult to put into words, and that was one of the things that made it special. They had a special relationship, and because it was so special, it was also very fragile. And she had been so imprudent as to shatter it with one simple action.

Of course God would tell her to wait. Time had no effect on Him whatsoever. He couldn't truly know what she was going through. In fact, it was God's nonchalance about the whole thing what had her so exasperated. Like He thought it was no big deal. Well, Joan thought, it couldn't be any more of a bigger deal now.

"I love you anyway."

That's what she had said, what he hadn't heard her say. Maybe it was a good thing he hadn't. Joan herself was pretty confused over her own words. She hadn't even thought it, the words had just rolled off her tongue. But for some reason she wasn't shocked at herself. All though calculus, she had pondered over the meaning of those words. And it had only made her sadder.

Truth be told, Joan didn't know how she hadn't realized it before. Did she really love him? It would explain why he had become so important to her, and why it hurt so much to lose him. 

She had taken him for granted; she hadn't shown him how much she cared before, and she wouldn't be able to rectify herself now. He wouldn't come back. It seemed so long ago since the last time he had called her Jane. She just wanted to be Jane again. Perhaps it would take a miracle. 

With a sigh, she stopped crying. Nothing good ever comes out from self-pity, she decided. Dreading going back to class, she would have to make a stop in the bathroom after all, to fix her tear-stained face. Wiping her eyes, Joan stood up and pushed her hair out of her face. Suddenly she had the peculiar sensation someone was nearby, and she turned around to find Adam standing at the landing of the stairs, watching her.

Joan froze and swallowed the lump that had appeared in her throat. She wondered how long he had been standing there, as she watched him slowly climb down the steps and come to stand in front of her, never taking his eyes off of her. He looked sad, and Joan noticed he might had been crying too.

"Hey," he whispered after a long silence. Joan was slightly taken aback, because he didn't sound as he had earlier, but mild and gentle.

"Hey," she echoed, finding her voice.

His eyes were filled with concern. "Were you crying?" he asked softly.

"No," she mumbled, shaking her head, even though she still had traces of tears on her cheeks. Her heart was shrinking painfully; she felt vulnerable, naked under his stare, and her skin had gone numb and there was a cold shiver starting at the nape of her neck. 

"Here," he said, and he dug out of his pocket a crumpled but clean napkin. But he didn't hand it to her; instead he reached out and gently dried her tears himself. Joan's heart immediately stopped shrinking and grew very hot, and so did her face, her cheeks blushing furiously under his touch.

"What. what made you come back?" she asked. Adam chuckled and didn't answer right away, as if he were thinking of something very amusing.

"I just had an epiphany," he finally said.

"Really?"

"Really." He put the napkin back in his pocket.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of cute boy/ God looking down at them through the window beside the door, and He gave her a wink before He was gone.

Joan smiled to herself. "What were you revealed?"

"Just things. mostly stuff I already knew," he said, taking a step closer. Joan's breath caught in her throat. "Stuff I knew a long time ago, but I was too blind to see."

"Like what?" her heart was beating faster.

"Like the fact that I would eventually forgive, for everything, but I was too stubborn to see that, deep down, I already had."

Joan felt a wave of relief wash over her. "Really? You mean you believe me? Everything I told you?"

Adam smirked. "I certainly do now," he replied, and he looked amused again. He took her hands into his, just like she had done a while ago, and looked deep into her eyes. "I'm sorry I made you cry, Jane," he whispered.

Joan blinked in surprise and smiled broadly. "You called me Jane."

"I did," he said. "I guess that-" Before he could finish his sentence, she had pressed her lips to his, cupping his face in her hands, and after getting over the initial shock, he closed his eyes and slipped his hand around her back.

When they broke the kiss, she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his shoulder.

"I thought I lost you," she mumbled, her words muffled by his sweater.

"You won't lose me, Jane. You can't."

They didn't know how long they stayed like that, just the two of them, everything else fading into the background. They just wished that no one would decide to walk by that place and spoil the moment. But that would not be the case.

Promptly, they stepped away from each other in surprise.

"Someone's coming," hissed Joan.

They both stood completely still and listened. The sound of footsteps was nearing them, and they couldn't be sure which way they were coming. Joan got worried.

"What if it's Price?"

Adam looked flummoxed for a moment. "Let's go," he said, and took Joan's hand and led her back up the stairs.

"Out there?" she asked.

"Um, yeah," Adam answered, and they walked out the double doors and stood outside. Joan couldn't help but laugh nervously. Whether it was because of the situation they were in or because it was sort of thrilling to be sneaking around the school during class _with_ Adam, she wasn't sure; but it was a good rush, and she blushed and grinned broadly when she realized how close together they were, huddled next to the big windows looking in.

They saw the cleaning lady carrying a recycling bin full of cans walk by the place they had been standing just seconds ago, and disappear into the hallway Joan had come from. Adam and Joan blew a sigh of relief and laughed quietly.

"We're going to get in trouble if we get caught," Joan muttered. Adam nodded.

"Cha, Jane, but who's gonna find us out here?" he replied.

"Well, well, well, what have we got here?"

Joan and Adam froze and looked at each other worriedly. They turned around slowly, wearing uncanny deer-in-headlights looks, only to find blue jacket girl / God standing behind them, grinning. They un-tensed immediately and looked annoyed.

"Oh, God," they mumbled in unison.

"Yes?"

"No, no, it was just an expression," Adam said. Joan was abashed, realizing what was going on. Adam had called it an "epiphany"; Joan didn't exactly think of her conversations with God as "heavenly revelations". 

"I knew it. You know who this is, don't you?" she asked. Adam and God glanced at each other knowingly.

"We've met," Adam replied. God nodded in agreement. 

"Told you I'd be around to help," She said to Joan. Joan smiled in spite of herself, but then she looked annoyed again.

"Are you gonna tell us to go back to class?"

"I was actually thinking about giving you guys a sort of break, let you stay out here for a while," God said casually. "After all, this period is almost over, anyway."

Joan looked down at her watch. "Um, not really, there are still 20 minutes left-"

"Are you arguing?" God cocked an eyebrow. "I grant you freedom to stay out here, and you will pass that by? When you hate calculus with a passion? When you've been fretting over this guy and now you've finally gotten things back on track with him?" She gestured at Adam theatrically, and looked at Joan oddly. "Seriously, what kind of teenager are you?" Joan sighed tiredly and frowned.

"One who is very confused about everything in her life right now," she said, and she gave God a sarcastic grin. "And I have you to thank for that."

God shook Her head and looked at Adam. "This is the sort of attitude that keeps me from revealing to her too much information about her missions. See what I mean?"

"Sort of," Adam replied, smiling amusedly. Joan was starting to fume.

"Oh, right, so you were both just talking about me?"

"I only said nice things," God said quickly. Joan looked skeptically and turned to Adam.

"Really?"  
"It's true."

"The Lord does not lie," God told Joan dramatically. "Anyway, I'm glad things have been worked out between you two. I suppose you are aware of the fact that you two are the only people meant to know about me and this."

Doing a sort of double-take, Joan looked indignantly at God.

"Wait a minute. Back that up. 'The only ones meant to know'? You mean you still want this to be a secret? I though that was my choice. That day in the bookstore, you said part of free will included that I could tell Adam if I wanted. Of course you talked me out of it, but you still said it was my call. You told me it was my decision if I wanted to tell anyone or not." God was unfazed by Joan's rants.

"Do you honestly think someone besides Adam would believe you?"

Joan opened her mouth to speak, but then snapped it closed again and stopped to think about it. "I. don't know. I suppose it's not very probable."

"And even if someone did, why do you want to tell them? What would be the point?"

"Okay, okay, I get it," Joan help up her hands defensively. "I won't -I mean, _we_ won't tell anyone."

"This is so weird," Adam said suddenly, staring from God to Joan as if he were on a ping-pong match. "I mean, you're talking to _God_. And God talks back to you. It's pretty surreal." Joan gave him a faint smile.

"Well, now you know how it is for me everyday."

"But doesn't it feel good to have someone, besides yourself, know what's going on?" God asked.

"Definitively. Now I know for sure that I'm not crazy."

God shook her head, still grinning. "Anyhow, why don't you two stay out here and chat about this for a while? You haven't really talked about this."

Adam and Joan looked quizzically at the girl. "Wait, you actually mean it? We can skip class?" Joan asked, trying not to sound too gleeful.

"No, not skip. This is more like a time out. It's important you talk about this. Now that Adam knows, you must settle some sort of pact for secrecy, don't you think?"

"Whatever you say," Joan and Adam both shrugged and smiled.

"Good. However, when it's time for next period, you're both going back to class. And you're both doing detention for skipping calculus, because it's only fair," God added, looking severe all of a sudden. "Be good, kids. See you later." And with a wink and a smug smile, She walked away. Joan and Adam stared after Her in shock.

"I _knew_ there was a downside," Joan grumbled sourly.

"Are you gonna be telling me what to do, too? Don't you have enough with telling Jane?" Adam called indignantly after God.

"You're giving us detention? Can't you just be benevolent with me for once, too? Can't you just give me a _well-deserved_ break?!" Joan called after Her, too. She stomped her foot on the ground. "_Un_-believable!" she began to mumble under her breath. "I liked that girl's attitude better this morning. should've known it wouldn't last."

Adam was still staring after God in shock. "That's twisted, yo."

"Can you believe the nerve?" Joan asked. She plopped down onto the bench nearest to the door; the same bench, where she and blue jacket girl / God had sat in the morning, and where Adam and cute boy / God had been talking just a while ago, too. Adam came to sit next to her. They were silent for a moment, and then he looked at her.

"Maybe you should go back to class. You can still make it without getting in trouble."

Joan shook her head and chuckled. "Nah, you're getting detention anyway, cuz you didn't show up to calculus at all. And if you're getting it, then I don't mind getting it, too."

"You don't have to do that," Adam said.

"But I want to," she replied, and they suddenly gazed at each other and smiled. They nearly forgot why they were there at all.

"Well, do you wanna talk about. what God said we should talk about?" he asked. Joan seemed to think about it for a moment, then shrugged.

"We can talk later," she replied, and he knew what she was thinking. He gingerly pulled her into his arms and they kissed, their surroundings fading into the background again.

+++++++++++

"Girardi's gonna get in trouble," Grace muttered to herself as she exited calculus as soon as the bell rang. The hallways were crawling with students once again as she made her way to her locker.

"Why? What did I do?" Luke asked, appearing next to Grace all of a sudden. Grace whacked him upside the head for startling her, making him wince.

"Not you. Your sister," she replied.

"Why? What did she do?"

"She missed the last 20 minutes of class. She said she was going to the bathroom and never came back. Graff put a detention slip on her desk, and Joan will need a pretty good excuse to get out of that one. And knowing Graff, no excuse is ever good enough for him." She led Luke to the entrance hall, where many kids were going up the stairs and outside to catch some fresh air before next period.

"She went to the bathroom? Well, maybe she's not feeling well. I mean, how is she doing? You know, after what happened in the library?" Grace rounded on her heels and faced Luke questioningly.

"What exactly would you say happened in the library, mighty clairvoyant? Were you there? Because I distinctly remember you standing outside with me, equally oblivious as I was."

Luke rolled his eyes. "Well, she looked pretty shaken last time I saw her, so, I don't know, I would assume things didn't go how she wanted them to go, wouldn't you say?"

"Well, for your information, in class she was normal. Maybe a bit more spacey than usual, but." She thought for a moment. "You know, maybe she's not okay."

"Maybe she's playing hooky and that's all, and then she deserves trouble. No sister of mine plays hooky and gets away with it."

"Of course, Saint Luke."

They climbed up the steps to go outside. "We should-I mean, _you_ should go check on her," Luke suggested. Grace frowned.

"Why me?"

"Gee, I don't know, maybe because it's the girls' bathroom and I'm not a girl?" Luke responded cynically.

"Do you have proof to back up that theory?"

"Oh, you're sooo funny."

"Honestly, I don't think she went to the bathroom," Grace said as they stepped through the doors.

"And where, pray tell, do you think she might have disappeared to?"

"Here's one guess: la-la land."

Luke looked puzzled at Grace, and Grace pointed in front of them. Surely enough, there was Joan, sitting on the bench near the doors, the back of her head unmistakable; but she wasn't alone. Adam was sitting right next to her. They looked awfully chummy, what with Adam's arm wrapped around Joan's shoulder, and Joan playing with his hands; they were talking quietly and didn't seem to notice the bell had rung and the grounds were swarming with people again.

Luke and Grace looked at each other, then at Joan and Adam, then back at each other, equally confused, and settled their golf-ball sized eyes on the couple on the bench again.

"Did we miss something?" Luke asked finally.

"Apparently a lot," Grace replied.

Joan rested her head on Adam's shoulder and he kissed her forehead. Grace's and Luke's initial reaction was a flinch and a disgusted face. But it quickly went back to a shocked expression.

"Guess you were right. She _wasn't_ in the bathroom," Luke commented.

"Ugh, well, I know I could use a toilet right now," Grace said, looking like she might puke.

"They're both gonna get in trouble. This is certainly not a good excuse at all for skipping class; it won't get either of them out of detention. In fact, I think _this_ will get them in even worst trouble."

"Because there is a federal law against embarrassingly corny public displays of affection?"

"If there isn't, there should be."

"I'm still a bit confused," Grace said. "I mean, Luke, do you know what's going on here?"

"Well, Grace, it seems that we've managed to brew a plan to get them back together, gotten them to talk, see how things turn out wrong, and gotten them to finally reconcile."

"And then even closer together than they actually were before."

"Well, it was about time, already." They nodded thoughtfully.

"And all in less than a day," Grace said.

"No magic wands," Luke added.

"We're _good_."

"No doubt about it."

++++++++++++++

_Aaah, what a cheesy ending, but that's life for you. "La vie est comme le fromage", as my boy Ulises once put so eloquently (and back then I didn't know what the freak he meant, either)._

_Thanks to all the reviewers, I really appreciate your comments (they love me; they really, really love me!!!! Muaxxxx!!!!). If anyone will bear with me, I will create another JoA story soon and make us all happy, mmmkay? (But first, I will watch all the crucial episodes of the series. You know, the ones everyone has seen except me *grumble*)._

_Shouts out to my pals, Joey (my almighty beta reader, I love you!!!), Tough Cookie (a.k.a Tough Biscotti), my sister Tory (thanks for nothing. nah, just kidding), darling Dante (Io sere La Gioconda, lo giuro), Sebastian Melmoth a.k.a The Original Chemist (302 brownie points, kudos!!), my boyfriend James (I MISS YOU SO FREAKIN MUCH!!!), Vero a.k.a DJ Frijolazo (it's the inevitable return, baby, of the great white dope!), Eduardo (no, I haven't seen it), my boy Harrison (Flame Boy!), Emilia (thanks for the support, girl), cousins Ale, Malu and Angela (I'm still numero uno :)), Marion (I love Adam Rove more than you, so mnegh!!!!! *sticks out tongue*), almighty Xander (it's the undead freak flying orange, get it?), Janem (we loves DCFC, doesn't we, my precious?), Kaszaki-chan (*does a jump a la __Ping__ Pong Matrix* BOOYAKAH!!!), Jake (wish you were here, mate), Leah (no more coffee for you!!), ErikaWeasley (do not mock the almighty Miss Chievous), Faramuax (yeah, I got one of those), Leo (read my bio), Nate (too much info, can't think straight), Sarah (and I got yours, too, buahahah!), Cassie (was this fromage-y enough for you?), Joan (aaaand WEEEEEE!!!), and last but not least, in memory of Linus, Moira, Kim, James and Matt (R.I.P.). I know I already did it, but this is a special shout out to my band mates, Harry, Vero, Kasz and Eduardo. I love you guys, when I get back, we'll get down to business. SD, the return!!! Word._

_And here are even MORE lyrics for you. I looooove lyrics. I loooove music. _

Say the talk, and I won't mind

The days are caused, you know I never try

And I love you like the one I used to know

And if you never had the time

To last an ordinary problem

And I said I'd like to have a place to go.

--Pete Yorn, _Undercover_--.

The district sleeps alone tonight after the bars turn out their lights

And send the autos swerving into the loneliest evening

And I am finally seeing why I was the one worth leaving

I was the one worth leaving.

--Postal Service, _District sleeps alone tonight--._

_God bless you, thank you and good night!_

[ In the darkNess ]


End file.
